Let Love Find You!

Are you single and looking for a partner? Have you had bad relationships in the past? Are you worried you might never find the right person? If so, you are certainly not the only one. In the UK these days, more and more people are living alone, or as single parents, or with their parents or friends. The number of people who go through multiple divorces is also rising.

Contrary to what the statistics indicate, however, it is still perfectly possible to have a happy, lasting marriage. It's all a question of approaching it in the right way. If you have been unlucky in love, don't fall into the trap of thinking there is something wrong with you, because there isn't. You simply need to adjust your perspective.

You need to begin by loving yourself. It can be irritating to hear that you've got to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you, but it is true. If you're looking for a partner to give you validation and confidence, this will have one of two unfortunate results. Either your neediness and negativity will put off potential partners or, if you do hook up with someone, your relationship will be built on quicksand. If you believe you are worthless, you invite other people to think the same.

The other drawback to feeling you "need someone" is that you will put too much pressure on the relationship and on the other person to give you what you need. A healthy relationship is one in which each party is whole in him or herself, not with gaps that the other is meant to fill. If you feel there are gaps in you, you are probably right - but that does NOT mean there is anything wrong with you. It means you have some unresolved issues from your past (as 99.99% of people on earth have) and you will find a happier relationship if you address these issues first, with the help of a counsellor or psychotherapist.

There is no shame in getting some help. In fact, it's crazy not to, when there is so much invaluable help available to us these days. If you were suffering from some physical ailment, you would go to the doctor. Why, then, do we feel we must ignore or repress our emotional pain? A therapist will give you not only the self-esteem you crave but also insight into how to avoid another destructive relationship.

Once you accept yourself for the lovable, attractive person that you are, organise your life to reflect this. Is there anything you don't like about your life? If you work, are you happy with your job? If you don't work, is it because you have chosen not to? Do you enjoy living where you live? Have you got absorbing hobbies and interests that take you out of the house and involve you with other people? If you are putting up with stuff, change it! You deserve a fulfilling, stimulating life and it's important you make one for yourself and aren't looking for someone else to provide fun and excitement.

Right, so now you're feeling positive and confident and you're ready to meet someone on an equal basis. Where to find him or her? There are many ways to seek out a partner: join a dating agency, go to singles events, ask your friends to introduce you to suitable candidates

The principal benefit of joining a dating agency is fast access to a large pool of available people within a few miles of you. The big disadvantage to this - and to every other manufactured connection - is the pressure it puts on everybody to be what someone else wants.

Although, of course, it is possible to find lasting love by contrived means, the best way to meet the person who will become your life partner is by chance. Do make sure you are always meeting new people but don't assess them as potential partners. Concentrate on building your own life; fulfil yourself through your work, your hobbies and your friends; challenge yourself and enjoy your achievements.

One last thought: the widely-held view that we each have a "soulmate" waiting for us somewhere is a myth. Actually, we could be happy with any one of a million or more people. All that matters is your commitment to each other. You will not find Mr or Ms Perfect - they don't exist - so stop looking. Get out there and enjoy yourself and let love find you in its own time.

Article Source: http://www.rightbiz.com

To learn more about having yourself a happy marriage, check out our website. Loads of ideas and advice for every point in your relationship, from meeting the right person to getting married and beyond.

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