Peeve Number One: The Victim Mentality

"Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander." --Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be." -The Bible

"Neither a victim nor a perpetrator be." -Kenrick Cleveland

Odds are, if you've been to one of my seminars or if you've been involved in one of my coaching groups, you've heard my views on victim-hood. I hate it. I don't believe in victims and I'm fed up with the victim mentality. We all choose our destiny.

I decided to do a little research on this victim mentality and found an insane amount of resources out there for people who feel like victims--books, workshops, online classes, articles--all to coach people how not to be victims.

How did we get to this point? Why has it become so fashionable to be a victim?

A lot of groups choose the victim route instead of empowerment. I am not at all being difficult with any particular group here when I say this. I understand how poverty or coming from a background with violence can take away hope. However, I also know that we are in charge of our own happiness and our own desire to get ahead. Not long ago, Bill Cosby was torn apart for giving a speech in which he basically called the black community saying that "the lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal." The speech was to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the ruling of the Supreme Court in the Brown v. Board of Education decision.

This speech was discussed back and forth as, on one hand, 'tough love' and on the other, a prominent, rich African-American who had risen to the very top and began to adopt 'the white man's' language in describing his 'former' community. I happen to think it's important to give a hand up, but in doing so, feel there is an expectation that with a hand up, eventually people will be 'up' and will continue the cycle of giving hands up.

There's also a point where people need to really get out of the negative cycles that have held them back. This is all people here, not just one ethnic group.

When we play the victim, we are giving up and believing we can't change our situations. We've agreed to this destiny and accept it as being outside of our hands. This is an attempt to get an outside source to be responsible for us. And really, that's not going to happen.

However, if we choose to be in dominion of ourselves we step outside this mentality and once that is accomplished, we have options begin to become available.

Let's all use the power of persuasion advantageously for ourselves and for the world. Let's decide that our thoughts matter, our lives matter and we cannot depend on the rest of the world to save us. If we happen to get a hand up from time to time, great. Offer it in return wherever you can. But instead of waiting around for someone to act first, let's act first. Let's act first to save ourselves and the way we do that is by changing our thoughts such that we have responsibility.

Article Source: http://www.rightbiz.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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