Persuading Kinesthetically: Touchy Feely

In a previous article, I gave an overview of VAK (recap: these are the visual, auditory and kinesthetic representational systems) and it's use in persuasion and gaining rapport. I also went into more detail about the 'V' (visual) in VAK in another article and obviously, with a title like having to do with touchy feely, I've moved on to the 'K' part, kinesthetic.

Gaining rapport with our clients and prospects requires that we continue to build upon our ability to understand how people construct and interact with reality. The kinesthetically oriented person will interact with the world through touch and feel.

How do you know this about a person? Like right up front, how will you be able to tell a kinesthetic person right off the bat? Well, they tend to grasp for the way in which they describe things and reach for the words to make things concrete for you. They are natural at mirroring behavior oftentimes walking in step with you or bending when you bend, or blinking when you blink. They stick with things, wanting to touch them, grasping hold of them to get a sense of their texture. They may be born touchers--massage therapists or sculptors. They will even touch their own arms or legs and may rub it as they speak. This is the way in which they are getting in touch with how they feel about what is happening around them.

Bill Clinton is a perfect example of a kinesthetic person. One pretty famous quote of his, which was turned into parody by his notorious predilections, was 'I feel your pain.' That's the epitome of kinesthesia.

In contrast to a visual person who speaks quickly, staccato even, and an auditory person who may speak sing songy (or in a flat monotone), the kinesthetic person will speak much slower as they struggle to put into words what they are thinking.

Kinesthetic people obviously use kinesthetic words. These cover the tactile sense of feeling-hot, cold, firm, a firm touch, vibration-as well as the emotional sense of feeling-love, happiness, joy, anger.

Another way to determine if someone is kinesthetic is to notice how close they are to you. If they can reach out and touch you, odds are, they're kinesthetic. They love to be hugged, don't ever shirk away from physical touch, and have no problem with you being in their space because they're not creating pictures like visually oriented people are.

Kinesthetic people often struggle for their words. They . . .draw things out. . . and are really. . . working at what they are going to say.

Another clue is the eye contact. Visual people look up, auditory people will glance side-to-side or level, and kinesthetic people, as a general rule, will look down.

As a side note, I read an article not long ago about a junior high school student in Virginia who had been cited for school infractions for hugging his friend. Outlawing physical contact, his school board has implemented a 'no physical contact' policy. No touching of any sort--no handshakes, no pats on the head, no hand holding, no high fives.

When I first read the story I thought, what a strange policy. As I delved deeper, I realized what a horrible disservice is being done to kinesthetic kids throughout that school district. Obviously, harmful touch is wrong and should be off limits, and I understand that boundaries need to be clear, but no physical contact seems like a bad road to start traveling down.

Coming soon: Auditory Adventures.

Article Source: http://www.rightbiz.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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