The Best Frame Wins

I'm guessing this has never happened to you (or to anybody in the history of the world ever). You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, and you get pulled over by a police officer. The officer walks up to your car, you roll down the window, and he says, "I'm so sorry to bother you, but I think maybe a slight infraction of the law has occurred. . . I'm wondering if you wouldn't mind showing me your license and registration. I'm so sorry to inconvenience you here."

Yeah. . .that's never happened. Why? Well, law enforcement doesn't concern themselves with your inconvenience or worry about offending you or bothering you. They don't operate within the frame of concerning themselves with your experience of them. They operate from the perspective that they are in charge and that you will do exactly as they tell you to do. They operate with the assumption that they have all the power in any interaction of this kind and they're quite comfortable in their use of this power.

Maybe not all officers are that extreme but I'm exaggerating a little to make my point.

Regardless of whether we're aware of them or not, frames are at play in all of our interactions--business, personal, romantic.

I'm not suggesting that every of our interactions is a power trip but simply that when we approach a situation, we have to have our resolve set and our intentions in place. My approach with a new student would never be, "Well, I suppose I could help you learn to increase your sales with some ideas about persuasion." No way! First off, I know full well that I can teach anyone to increase their sales and I'm not in any way shy about being able to do that. If I were shy about my ability to help people, I wouldn't be worth my salt as a persuader.

Our ability to frame is what we can use to control the situations we're involved in. Extending that to any area of our lives, we see exactly how frames operate and dictate the behavior of those around us and can moderate our responses as the interaction takes place.

Consider the frame of a financial adviser and prospect. There are many frames to choose from. There's the frame that the prospect can set, as in, 'Prove to me why I should use you.' The adviser might adopt an 'expert' frame, as in, 'I'm the expert in this field and work with people who understand and can benefit from what I can do.'

Those are both relatively strong frames. But suppose you started out with a frame of, 'Shucks, I'm not really anybody. I'm working to survive here. I don't really know that much. I got lucky and happened to get my license and now I am fortunate enough to represent a few big companies. Maybe there's something I can do to help you.'

Would you sign up with that guy? Heck no.

Before your next meeting take some time to think about the framework you're using to work with the people around you.

Article Source: http://www.rightbiz.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of wealthy clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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