The Function of Gaslighting

Here's a great example of a powerful strategy called gaslighting and how to use it in your persuasive situations with the affluent...

A few nights ago I was watching TV, just flipping around aimlessly, and came upon an old episode of M*A*S*H. In this episode, BJ is bored and to entertain himself he cooks up a plan for amusement at Winchester's expense.

BJ, the prankster, while Winchester is out, takes a pair of his pants and replaces them with a pair several sizes too large. When Winchester changes into them, BJ is there and casually makes a comment that he's looking sick and that maybe he's got a virus or worse.

Later, BJ replaces the pants that are too large, with a pair that are way too small. When Winchester changes again, BJ casually notices how heavy Winchester has become, which has a dramatic effect on Winchester, prompting him to go on a crash diet.

"What's next?" Hawkeye asks BJ, having observed the whole interaction.

To which BJ responds, "Tomorrow he gets taller."

This is an example of gaslighting as a harmless prank, but the technique has far more nefarious potential and conversely when used ethically, some positive potential as well.

With all of the persuasion techniques I teach, know that they are incredibly powerful tools and when used without integrity will get you nowhere fast. They should always be used ethically and with integrity.

The 1944 film 'Gaslighting' is where the term came from, ultimately coming to be defined as a ruthless manipulation of a person so that they believe something absolutely untrue.

In 'Gaslighting' the husband tries to convince his wife that she's insane so that she'll have to be institutionalized, thus getting her out of his way. His subtle manipulations cause her to doubt her own grasp on reality.

Understanding and influencing how your affluent prospect interprets their reality is an integral part of persuasion.

The five main strategies of gaslighting are as follows:

The first strategy involves repeatedly questioning a person thus planting doubt.

If you watch game shows, you'll notice that they use this to raise the level of tension and oftentimes this results in the contestant doubting their decision. "Are you sure? Is this really your final answer?"

With only a word, this can be accomplished. "Really?" The body language used can be a cock of the head and a raised eyebrow. This is all it takes to install in the recipient that maybe they should be in doubt.

It works all the better if you come off as having their best interest in mind.

The second step in this strategy is to point out things that aren't there.

By using this strategy, you're undermining a sense of reality. Conversely it can be used to point out qualities and assets in a person who has no idea that these qualities exist within them (especially if they don't exist within them).

Appealing to someone's sense of ego and vanity is one way to use this. Think of former bosses or clients or prospects or authority figures, whose egos needed massaging. This is a form of gaslighting.

Beware: If the compliment has no merit whatsoever, you'll be found out. A small amount of truth is required to inflate into a huge amount of hot air.

The third strategy may be employed by various professionals, experts and/or authority figures. For example, a therapist (or minister, or pychic, or doctor) has specialized or divine access to unseeable information about you - deep, mysterious information that only they know how to reveal and which gives them "the answer" that you seek.

Lowering defenses and creating more of a feeling of trust are two of the benefits of this phenomenon.

The fourth gaslighting strategy involves revealing the secret thoughts of others.

Another way to view this is specialized gossip, directed directly at the person you're persuading. It's as if you're letting them in on a secret, and you're doing it because you care enough to help.

This can be used with 'nice gossip' i.e. compliments about that person that you weren't supposed to share. It can install positive behavior.

And last, but not least, the final strategy is to use the power of the many against the tiny power of one.

You'll see this used by children, politicians, in religion, through the media, by the military, and throughout society.

George Orwell called this group think and his prophetic novel '1984' establishes the idea perfectly.

It's powerful to have 'the many' on your side, and very difficult to maintain your position when you're up against the many.

As you can see, gaslighting isn't necessarily a nice practice. It is designed into trick someone into doubting themselves and their own sanity. But there are ways that gaslighting can be used for a positive outcome. You have to decide whether it's the right thing to use this technique and when it's the right time not to use it.

Article Source: http://www.rightbiz.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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