The Homework War: The Parents' Camp

School is back in session and all you can think of is the impending nightly homework battle. As a parent, you are more than half responsible for setting the stage for the battle, the strategic maneuvering and the conflict resolution. Here are some suggestions for shortening the skirmishes and for forging a lasting peace treaty. Parents have obligations to set rules, boundaries and to try to make evening homework time run as smoothly as possible.

First of all, provide a place for your child to do homework. This place should be equipped with material he or she may need, such as writing utensils, a clean area away from the household hubbub, and equipped with resource materials such as a computer and dictionary. This area may be where a parent can help while performing another task such as preparing dinner, but it must be away from a television.

Next, provide a time that is routinely set aside for homework. This must be tailored to the child and the household. Time committed to sports, a job and other activities must be considered and alloted for. And to the extent possible, homework should be regarded as the priority for after school or evening time. Television and video games are not priorities for your kids' weeknight hours. If you feel it's appropriate, then let your child enjoy these when they are done.

Provide an organizational system that helps your child keep track of assignments. This will no doubt include an assignment notebook, either with blank pages or one that has the dates filled in and has spaces for subject and homework. Next, provide color coded notebooks and pocket folders; for example, blue for math, red for language arts, etc. Label one pocket in each folder as "to be done" and label one as "completed". Instruct your child that daily assignments are to written in the assignment notebook and papers to be completed and assignment hand-outs go in one side of the pocket folder. Once complete, the homework goes in the other side of the pocket folder.

Keep track of your child's assignments and progress. Let the needs and the personality of the child dictate the depth of your involvement here. Some kids need constant checking that assignments are completed, some need very little. Until you are sure that your child is organized enough to keep track of their work and complete it on time, you need to make sure that they are doing it. If you notice a long-term assignment or project, engage your child in a conversation that includes a plan for completion. Help him or her to break the assignment down into components that might include research, first draft and the final draft; or research, outline of project, supplies and resources needed to complete project and time to complete project.

If your child needs to be alone in his or her room to focus on homework, you should give your child the leeway to try this. Some kids want quiet, some want music. The one rule you must enforce is no television and phone calls during homework. If your child needs to call to get an assignment or get clarification, the call must be brief. Require that your child's cell phone be turned off during homework time. That must be a non-negotiable stand in the parents' camp.

You must be available to your child for questions. Whether you can fit it in or not, you are a valuable resource for your child and if you are lucky enough to have your child respect your help and suggestions, you had better be there willing and ready to help. Even if you aren't a whiz in algebra, you can help your child find other resources for answers. Help if you are asked.

Help if you aren't asked. Make it a point to attend the fall open house at your child's school. Meet the teachers and learn expectations of each class. Understand how grades are determined. Use this information as the basis for conversations with your child. Make sure they understand what is expected of them in each class. Once you know the math mid-term exam is in early November, you know to expect to see your child preparing 1-2 weeks in advance of that. If you don't see any signs of movement on the task, start a discussion with your child about his or her plans for completion of the project. Ask to see class handouts early in the year and copy them. Know when exams are scheduled and help your child prepare or help them stay on track to prepare themselves.

As in any battle, there are 2 sides. Next, we will examine the obligations and position of the other side: your child. Yet, if both sides work toward the same goal, can we still call it a war? No, probably not. But, I doubt anyone will deny that battles will rage nonetheless.

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