The Lure Of The Forbidden

'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer

When I think of forbidden, I think of forbidden fruit. . . that apple in the Garden of Eden. There really was only one rule in paradise. . . don't eat the apples from the apple tree. And what happened? Well, that fruit looked way too good.

And look at our culture today. . . we've got people confessing to various oddities in taxicabs, on talk shows, we've got secret societies, hidden cameras, underage drinking. . . all of it hinging on secrets and the lure of the forbidden.

One needs only to look at the popularity of TV shows which have taken it upon themselves to catch online predators. I thought this was a one-time special but it turned out to be more of a series. In this show, the "investigative journalist" poses as an under-aged online chatter. The "predator" sets up a date and when he shows up, the cameras are waiting for him. The most absurd part. . . nearly every single man caught in the later episodes says, 'I knew this was a trap!'

And yet, the guy went through with the date even having had the intuition that it was a trap. They'd go through with it despite the public humiliation, possible prison time and personal devastation.Why!?! How is this possible?

(Of course this example is not just about the forbidden or the unknown, but about baser human instincts which we'll explore in a later article.)

The forbidden speaks of a desire to know more, to know way beyond what humans are supposed to know. There was a story in the Bible of the tower of Babel where man tried to build a tower so high as to reach God and know what God knows. The tower of Babel was destroyed and all of their tongues were mixed up so that they couldn't understand each other and work in concert to build up because only God knows what God knows.

If we can figure out what it is about human nature and our desire to know the unknowable and be in on the secret which intrigues us so much, we can then use this information for persuasion purposes to sell more effectively.

We may not always be able to get to the full blown forbidden, but we can sure get to the hidden and we can sure get there through secrets.

Telling your prospects and clients "secrets" gives you the chance to learn theirs. Simply say, 'Hey, let me share this with you. I don't tell this to everybody, but here's a secret'. Or say, 'I have something personal to share. . . I feel like I can trust you enough to tell you this. .. '

Even if the secrets we share aren't super profound, it tends to show our prospects and clients that we trust them. The law of reciprocity says that they will respond in kind by trusting us.

In his book, "The Psychology of Persuasion", Robert Cialdini, explains, "One of the most potent of the weapons of influence around us is the rule for reciprocation. The rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us."

In other words, secrets will get someone to hear you and accept you and then share back with you. And what does that mean? Well, there's rapport. There's trust. There's belief.

Article Source: http://www.rightbiz.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of wealthy prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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