Towards And Away: The 'away' Perspective

Before I get into the 'away' perspective in the towards/away continuum, I want to make a distinction between a truly negative personality and a person who is inclined towards moving away from a problem.

There are some people who think, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' I am not of that opinion. Putting on a happy face for everything is dishonest, even if it's framed in the positive mental attitude way of turning lemons into lemonade or problems into challenges. I see the value in it, but I also see the value in really indulging in the ups and downs of life, experiencing the lows so that the highs feel so much more intense.

With that said, it's hard to be around people who complain incessantly. Viewing the world through the lens of misery and inconvenience is dreadful to be around. I believe if you're around that kind of personality for long stretches of time or consistently, your energy will be depleted as a result.

For me, I'd rather be around people who are honest and have integrity, whether they are positive or negative is not my criteria. I'd prefer positive because I know the power that our thoughts have, but above all, if I had to choose, honesty is king.

With that said, the 'towards and away' continuum is a filter that some (not all) people use when describing their circumstances in a particular context.

Determining towards and away is as easy as eliciting criteria (in fact, it is eliciting criteria). Say your client's highest value is financial security. Your next question is: What will having financial security do for you ultimately?

Security is tricky because it can be both a towards and away answer. The answer is important because it will determine their direction.

'Financial security will mean that I'm finally safe. I won't have to worry about my investments, I won't have to worry about my family, I'll be able to retire when I want.'

Is this person moving towards a solution or away from a problem?

Well, that's pretty obvious. They're definitely trying to move away from the problem.

I call the technique which is most effective with away from people 'backing the ambulance up to the door'. In this approach you are poking at wounds, really helping them wallow in their fear and then marrying your product or service with the path to financial security.

An appropriate away from response would be, 'You bet. Exactly. It's absolutely understandable that you'd feel terrified. The market is a dangerous place right now. People are going to lose fortunes. Having no alternate plan, no parachute, is going to ruin many lives. My clients, however, have moved beyond that fear as they work with me, and are, as a result, safe and secure.'

Determination of towards/away is a really powerful tool enriching rapport immeasurably. Never try to force the away oriented person to see the silver lining or look through rose colored glasses. Go along with them and help them bask in the fear and horror that you can eventually relieve them of.

Article Source: http://www.rightbiz.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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